


040717

by ellaraeraerae



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 12:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10594320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellaraeraerae/pseuds/ellaraeraerae
Summary: This was the stuff I tried sharing earlier, but google was a jerkface mcjerkyface.





	

Images flashed before me, with little coherence, and instilling nothing but fear in me. I ran. Even that couldn’t save me.   
Dreaming, I was dreaming. This wasn’t real. These images weren’t real. I was safe. I had been safe for months. Honestly, I had never been this safe in my life.   
I cracked open my eyes to the light outside. It was gray, yet again, but even the unrelenting dreary winter wasn’t enough to make me crack. This was my safe haven, right?  
Burrowing deeper, I tried to make my idle day shorter. 

I finally decided to get out of bed once my roommate thought I’d be up. He wasn’t anticipating me being home, let alone still in bed. I was supposed to be in classes, but I wasn’t feeling it today. He knew my schedule, and expected me to follow it.   
Feeling unsettled after a night of nightmares, I decided to take it easy. I could tell he was annoyed, and I likely kept him up with my restlessness, despite the fact that we slept miles apart. Fine. I suppose I can let him be with the room.   
I thought about being productive, but then decided to vegetate and play video games. 

The days passed, that was all about I could say. I knew I had things to do, or care about, but I just didn’t. My housemates thought therapy might be good for me, but we could all agree that wasn’t in our collective best interest. We had secrets to keep, and my ennui was related to those secrets. I allowed them to discuss that in the living room, while I sat there, looking out on the garden Kessa tended to.   
Even the small, necessary tasks were hard for me, especially if I had to leave my fortress of a house. I usually waited for someone to take out the garbage even, or bother going to the grocery store. I had no issues providing a list and the money, but the act was impossible for me.   
Making it out of the house caused the tightening in my chest, and being short of breath, and looking all around me in order to seek out anything that could potentially harm me. Logically, I knew this was useless. I could only see so much, do so much. But I never stopped the fight that started years ago.   
I wasn’t sure I ever knew peace.   
The thoughts were overwhelming me. The video games weren’t distracting enough. I figured it was time to pick up the book I kept down by the couch, and found a light blanket, curling up, hoping sleep would take me.   
Sleep only lasted so long. Thinking, or hoping, I’d actually left the house, Foster came down and started making all sorts of noise in the kitchen.   
Sometimes, I really missed living alone. I had the peace and quiet around me all of the time, but my life was anything but since I had met Foster and his cohorts. They weren’t bad people, anything but, but I missed the quiet. I hated that I shared a room with anyone, but the others drew lots and Foster and I ended up together.   
He and I just never meshed well. I just didn’t think too much of him. He was a decent enough person, but he was best left as a friend of a friend.   
“Sleeping again?” There was a bite to the question.   
“What do you care?”  
“Well, I was hoping to sit on the couch, for one.” He sauntered over to where I was taking over the couch. I sat up, providing him enough room to sit. He sat a plate down on the side table. It must be lunchtime, I thought idly. “And maybe get sometime with the games, but you seem to be doing everything I want to, today.”   
Trying to put some malice in my voice, “It is my house.” The bite wasn’t there. My voice was tired and bored. Being a person was exhausting.   
Foster turned to face me, as best as he could manage, while we both were on the couch, “I know we’re not the closest, but you have to start doing something. You keep me up half the night. And you haunt the house like a ghost. It might be good to leave occasionally.”   
“What am I supposed to do?” My voice gained strength, “Am I supposed to go flashing my face around, and let the world know that I’m still alive? Everyone thinks I’m dead, and I don’t want anyone to think otherwise. So am I to get myself caught on security footage, or on the news? No, thank you.” I got up in a huff, wanting nothing more than to blow off some steam doing something physical, but stuck staying in my safe space. But was it even safe?

Kessa was the first to try an approach me. Foster, that gossip, told the rest of our housemates about my outburst. She brought up a cup of tea, and a muffin she undoubtedly made since she had been home. Thankfully someone in this house was fantastically domestic, or we might all end up eating cereal from the box, and wallowing in squalor.   
I liked that she didn’t force me to talk, or listen. She just handed me the tea and muffin and sat with me. The tea was already brewed, and slightly cooled, ready for drinking. This kind of thoughtfulness was so rare.   
“I thought I’d sit with you. I made apple cinnamon muffins and I figured you’d want one.”   
Kessa left it at that. I sat up in my bed, and held the tea in my hands, letting it warm my fingers. I have no idea where Kessa produced a book from, but she was curled in a chair with a book in her lap, her long brown hair forming a curtain between her and the rest of the world. I envied her easy way about life. She wasn’t broken like me. She just went along in life, equally as special, but not hunted. Even now, I didn’t know the extent of her power and abilities. I probably should have questioned it, but didn’t find the need to know, so I let her be.   
In fact, I hardly knew anyone I lived with. We fought together, almost died together, and now we all lived together. They had all been friends for a while, before Foster of all people, stumbled upon me. And now, here we all were, in this house. The others made noise and commotion. Part of me loved it; part of me hated it. I liked knowing they were safe. I could protect them. They could be at ease, but every door shut, or pot banged, or voice raised, grated on me. I couldn’t separate the friendly noises from the unfriendly ones. I put myself away, usually upstairs in my room, shared with Foster, haunted by my own brain. 

Days passed, more of the same. I was empty more and more of the time. There wasn’t much for a dead girl to do. 

After another week, I guess, Kessa burst into my room. I wasn’t used to her being energetic, but it was clearly a thing.   
“We’re going out.”  
“What?” was all I could muster. I didn’t want to go out. I had started to get accustomed to my inside life. It wasn’t much, but what were haunted people to do?  
“It is Foster’s birthday, and we’re all going to celebrate, even you.”  
“Pass.”  
Kessa refused to listen to me, and headed to my closet. The one nice thing about having the master bedroom was the substantial closet space. It helped that Foster wasn’t one to have a wardrobe.   
She found dress I purchased and was yet to wear. It didn’t seem like something to wear while I was hanging around the house. It was a colorful halter maxi dress, perfect for summer nights, and showing a bit of cleavage. It was on sale, at the end of the season. Kessa found matching shoes, and a sweater, then shoved me into my bathroom to shower.   
Sitting on my bed when I came out, she was paying attention to her phone.   
“Good, you’re finally clean.”  
“I was clean enough.”  
“I can’t even start with you. Get dressed, and I’ll do your hair.”  
Gods, she was so bossy. Why would I even want to go out with them? Foster and I were lightly hostile on a good day. I didn’t want to celebrate his continued life. 

When Kessa was finally satisfied with my appearance, we headed out. She was dressed casually, and not in a dress. It was completely unfair she stuck me in this thing, and is making me leave the house, to an event I don’t even want to go to, and she’s wearing jeans.   
Somehow, I ended up in the middle seat of the car, with Foster driving and Kessa on my right side. My other housemates occupied the other seats. How did I end up in the worst seat in my own car? I sat quietly and seethed, hoping someone would notice how unhappy I was. Unfortunately they decided to have a lively conversation.   
Foster drove us north, towards the university. Great, I was going to have to deal with whatever meathead friends wanted to see him. This was literally a waking nightmare. I looked out the windows to the city I lived in and even though I’d been here for almost a year, I still had no idea where anything was.   
I hadn’t bothered trying to explore. Aside from signing up for classes at the community college, I didn’t do anything. I didn’t want to. I was mourning the life I could have had, and took it out on this city, just a place on the map. I never wanted to end up here, but here I was.   
And apparently we were already here.   
I filed out of the car, following my roommates into what looked to be any old college bar. We were stopped for ID on the way in. Providing my fake, I got right in. Sometimes it was weird to be the baby of the group.   
I had no idea what I was expecting for this night. A punk rock show was not it.   
Finding a corner and chair, I decided to hope for the best. Everyone had broken off in the small, crowded bar, so I just sat there, and watched them pass by. Eventually, Kessa came by with a rum and coke for me. She was a few in.  
“Hiiiiiiiiiiiii.”  
“Hi, Kess.”  
“I brought you a present.”  
“Thank you.” She was struggling to stay upright. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen her let loose like this.   
“I love you. I just want you to know that okay? You are so pretty, too. And girl, damn, your boobs are amazing. Like I’m so jealous.”   
“Don’t be. I love you too.”   
“Imma bring some of Foster’s friends to talk to you, okay?” She stood up straight, faster and smoother than any human should be able to. Granted, she’s not a normal human, but neither was I for that matter. It’s what united us.   
I liked to think that Kessa and I would have been friends if circumstances hadn’t thrown us together, but I have no idea if we would have ever met.   
I focused on my drink, sipping, and looking around the room, when three massive dudes, came up to me. My immediate reaction was to assess for weaknesses. One favored his right leg over the left, they were all a bit top heavy, and had all been drinking. Then I realized, they seemed kind of… nervous. Like I was something to fear. That’s a new one for me.   
“Are you Adria? Foster’s roommate?”  
“I… I am.”  
“We’re Foster’s friends. Kessa said we should come talk to you.” They definitely looked nervous. They had no idea what to expect from me. I wasn’t fawning over them, or anything, and that seemed to confuse them. Boys.   
They stayed in an awkward semicircle, facing me, and attempting conversation.   
“So what’s Foster like these days?”  
“Incorrigible. I’m surprised we haven’t killed each other being roommates.”  
“Ah. We used to have the party house.”  
“I suppose we could have the party house. We’re up in Cap hill, and I am the landlord.”   
“Oh, that’s you.” I didn’t like the sound of that. I raised my eyebrows in silent protest. “He said we couldn’t come over because he wasn’t sure how the landlord would handle it.”  
“As much as I enjoy peace and quiet, trust me, I’m no Nazi. I don’t forbid anyone from inviting friends over. And if I’m going to start that, I’m going to start by banning Kessa’s one night stands. She is just so loud.”  
“So what’s the deal with her?”  
“You interested?”  
“She’s cute.”  
“I have a better chance, you know, being a girl. You’re just not her type.”   
The other two guys howled in laughter. It was good to make someone laugh. Kessa saw, and caught my eye.  
“I told you Adria isn’t as bad as Foster makes her out to be. What are you gents laughing about?”  
I piped in, “This one would like to take you out.”   
Kessa doubled over in laughter. “Oh shit, that’s hilarious. He’s got no gaydar.”   
At this point, even Foster came over. Kessa explained what was happening in between gasps for breath. I found entertainment moving my ice cubes around with my straw. While everyone was distracted, Foster slipped a fresh drink over to me, and softly said, “Rum and coke, right?”  
“Right. Thank you.” 

An explosion rocked the building. I glanced at Foster and Kess, both giving me a small nod. Our other housemates came over, and followed Foster out of the bar. I was the last of us out the door, leaving Foster’s friends behind.   
Once we were out on the street, we could tell this wasn’t just any explosion. This was intentional. A small bomb had gone off in the middle of the street, pushing a passing bus across the right side of the street, blocking traffic. The five of us stood there, assessing the scene, looking for anything that looked abnormal, at least abnormal for a bomb.   
Our answer came quickly, as other explosions came from the sides and behind us. The four were huddled together, trying to formulate a plan, while I just stood there, frozen. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, barely even processing what I was seeing. I could see Vesta and Lia run off, likely to the other bombs.   
The ringing in my ears took over. This couldn’t be happening. Not again. Not again. Not again. This wasn’t supposed to happen again.   
Kessa and Foster came over to me, and realizing I wasn’t responding, Kess left me behind. I didn’t understand. She was there and then she wasn’t.   
Foster ran off to the first bomb, I guess. I couldn’t process anything. There were just lights and noises, and nothing. 

I had let my team down. 

My legs gave out on my first. Like they were jelly, I collapsed to the ground. Nothing hurt in my fall, but I landed on something that provided enough pain for me to stay conscious. I couldn’t tell if I liked that or not.   
Arms were pulling me. This was it. I was on borrowed time. It was always borrowed time. I didn’t fight. I couldn’t fight. I was done. So what if they killed me. It would be better than this hell I’ve lived. Might as well end it all.   
We bumped into a building. Well, that was odd, but okay. Another person was helping me sit upright, with my back to the building. This was definitely a weird way to die. I wasn’t going to fight it.   
There was a face in front of me. Somewhere in my haze, I recognized that it was a friend. Well, I guess. Foster.


End file.
